I have been enjoying this conversation between withinsilence and popee mainly. Not wanting to butt in with my take for a change.
I have a theory that the most worthwhile, interesting and instructive conversations are those limited to two people. Where each is tuning in to the other. It is much harder to tune in properly to a group of people, unless that group is relatively uniform... so conversations between more than two people tend often to split up into smaller groups.
Sometimes I wish I could just be a fly on the wall eavesdropping on the conversations of others. Then I might really get to know people as they are. As it is, I feel my presence always modifies, distorts what I am hearing, distorts the truth, people are putting up a pretence for my benefit, or being less frank because not as close to me as they are to each other.
Not that it matters! I mustn't cry for the moon...
I know this dilemma well. My entire family is utterly insane. lol But you can't say that without sitting in judgment, which I'm loathe to do, yet I still find myself doing just that.
(where's that forgive-myself magic dust again) lol
You are not going to get away from judgments. This doesn't mean not to accept them as they are but you may simply be speaking the truth that some of your family may in fact be psychologically "not well" which is what insane=en sanus literally means. After waking up from my un-healthy state of incessant thinking of thoughts or being "caught up" in them and not in the now, I know that I was insane most of my life. he he
Judgments hold grudges and hand out sentences and come directly from the ego as condemnation or superiority. Recognizing that someone is struggling or suffering within them self is awareness and is part of compassion as you want to help them see this and end their suffering but unfortunately those who believe they're not lost are the hardest to find and won't listen to you until they have reached the bottom and for some it may not even be this lifetime.
Don't judge yourself for simply being aware as this in itself is non-acceptance of your gift of awareness. Just gently help them when they are willing to listen to the truth and accept that they may never choose to. IMVHO
Is there a fly in here....hmmmm....I feel like I'm being watched?